An Open Letter To Billy Corgan
Dear Billy Corgan-
Why do you have such crappy openers? I am one
of your biggest fans, and have been to more shows of yours than I can
count. Not once have I ever seen a great band/artist open for you.
Perhaps it’s because I’m just anxious for you to take the stage, but I
just don’t get it. Do you handpick these artists or are they stuck on
your bill via a booking agent? I’d like to think the latter for the
most part. I just recently saw your show at Webster Hall and
painstakingly sat through 2 openers. The first, Doris Henson reminded
me of a third rate Gomez, trying to show how they really liked
Elephant 6 for cred points. The second, The Crimea, was fronted by an
overly spastic lead singer and were almost as exciting as watching a
freezer defrost.
I think the worst opener had to be Children’s
Hour on the Zwan tour. Wow they sucked, and I had to see them twice.
The duo sounded like howling banshees given instruments for the first
time. Now you might just be saying “Skip the openers,” but as an avid
Billy Corgan fan I can not. It is a necessity to get to the show early
as to get the best placement on the floor possible.
Now thinking
back to the Smashing Pumpkins days, I can’t remember a lot of the
openers. I do remember Garbage, who also wasted my time as I had to
survive an intense mosh pit whilst suffering through Shirley Manson
flipping up her skirt to show of her underwear. Some people might not
have any complaints about that, but we’ll just leave it as is. Maybe
I’m just bitter because that mosh pit sent me to the emergency room.
I
do remember one halfway decent opener, Sleeping at Last, where they
opened for Zwan in Chicago. They weren’t dreadful, but they were a bit
on the boring side ala Remy Zero rip offs.
There were plenty of
times you have had no openers: the Adore tour, the small Machina club
tour, etc. I ask you: Where have those days gone? I really think it’s
pointless for you to have openers simply because you have thousands of
fans just waiting for you to take stage. The last thing we want to do
is stand through 2 hours of total musical crap.
So to sum up my oh so well thought out arguments: Don’t give us bands you think rock, give us just YOUR rock.
Sincerely,
Fuzzy Lion